Failure

I feel like a failure.  I feel like I am failing at everything.  I am failing my grandmother, my family, and my children.  Recently, while talking with some family members, grandma suggested I go back to work to start earning some of my own money.  Then I would be gone all day and she would finally be able to do whatever she wants without me here bossing her around.  Let me tell you, that made me feel really good.  Like the past year and a half has been such a waste, because all I've been doing is making her life miserable.  She has been criticizing everything I do and nothing is right.  The garden is wrong, my house keeping is unsatisfactory, my child-rearing is a miserable attempt.  I just get so tired of busting my butt to be cut down and made to feel like trash, like I'm failing at everything.  I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels.  It is three against one...all the time.  I am tired, so tired, of being asked to defend every time I get on to the boys.  Or anything I ask the boys to do that she doesn't understand or agree with.  Simple things like bath time.  I ask them to come get in the bath tub and they say "no" and she yells "no" right with them and then helps them hide from me.  They go jump in her chair and she tries her best to prevent me from getting to them.  I am mentally exhausted from fighting with everyone all the time.  In her mind I can't do anything right so she is turning the boys to think that too.  All I can do is my best and that is not enough right now.