Dementia is exhausting sometimes. I feel like I'm, oh what's his name, Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day. That movie stressed me out and now I am living it. My grandmother's short term memory is totally gone. It can be so frustrating for both of us. When I say dementia is exhausting, I mean it is exhausting for grandma too. She shared with me this week that people ask her questions and she may be able to answer the question but can't remember anything surrounding the answer. And sometimes she thinks she should know the answers, but just can't reach them. She lives in a constant fog and state of confusion.
I will watch her sitting in her chair in the living room and she just looks around like she's looking for something. As I have noticed her short term memory slipping, I can now realize that she loses what she is doing or watching on television and just looks around hoping something or someone will remind her.
Mealtimes are changing also. As soon as I start getting the kids' plates ready she comes in waiting for her plate too. I have to serve her right when I do my children or she gets jealous. She initially comes into the kitchen like she is going to make herself a plate, but she loses track of what she is doing. Today, for example, she came into the kitchen and I had a plate laid out for her. She went to the sink and completely forgot what I had just told her. I went and sat down and the next thing I know she comes over to the table with her food wrapped in a towel. We were having tacos and rice and she just got one taco wrapped in a kitchen towel and completely forgot about the rice.
I just feel so bad for her and I know she is only getting worse. She reaches out to me and I have no explanations and no way to make this any better.
