Monday, June 6, 2011

My Three Kids?!?

I've been noticing some behavior issues coming from my three year old when dealing with grandma.  I finally put my finger on it today...he reacts to her the same as he reacts to my six year old nephew.  My nephew, as all older children do, tries to tell my three year old what do.  You know, be the boss of him.  My son pays no attention to him at all and continues doing exactly what he wants.  Even if my nephew is right and he really should listen to him, he just goes on with his business as if my nephew is not even there.  That is acceptable behavior for a three year old to have toward a six year old, but not so much toward an eighty-six year old.  This is my new hurdle.  Even though my grandmother acts like a child, she can not be treated as one.   I am working my hardest to make my little boy understand this.  It is a working progress for sure. 

Last night, for example, we get home from the store and come in from watering the garden and it is pretty late.  Right around bedtime.  The boys are both tired and hanging on my a thread to any decent behavior they have left in them.  So what does grandma do???  As soon as we come in she starts in on them to play with her and gets them completely riled up.  They are wrestling with her and each other and throwing balls and catching balls and then throwing all kinds of things.  I feel bad getting onto her ALL the time about how she enteracts with them.  She gets defensive and says that I won't even let her play with them.  She doesn't seem to understand the time of day and their mood.  She wants to play with them when she wants to play and they have to play her way.  So, I leave the room only to be called back into the living room where grandma is sitting in her chair waiting for me...and she's mad.  Apparently one of the boys had hurt her feelings along with her leg where he kicked during their wrestling match.  She pointed to all the spots he kicked when he took their wrestling match to the next level and she didn't want to.  So basically, she encourages him to play and then gets mad when he doesn't do it exactly her way.  And then she tattles. 

Oh, but it doesn't end there.  The other day my nephew was quietly playing trains in the floor while the little kids napped.  She got up and started moving his trains and carrying them off.  He, of course, gets mad and she begins to yell about how he is playing all wrong...he should be on the rug, not on the carpet.  I stepped in and reminded her to be quiet and that my nephew was fine because "at least he's quiet...let's not bother him."  To which she responds with, "yeah he's fine, he's just not playing like I want him to.  I really want him on that rug."  My response is an internal ugh! 

She is clearly acting like a child but demands to be treated like an adult.  She continues to remind me that she has raised four children herself and she doesn't know why I don't trust her.  I am somehow neglecting her in her mind.  The thing is, I don't trust her.  I turn my back for a minute and go to the bathroom or something and when I come out her and the boys are outside.  The other day she had my nephew, age six, and my two boys, age three and one, in the road when I came out of the bathroom.  They were getting the mail, but the road is very busy and I don't allow the boys to go to the road.  When my back turns, my rules go out the window and she feels in charge and suddenly decides to do something radical. 

Sometimes this woman really tests my patience.  But then she tells me how much she loves having the boys here and how good they make her feel when they snuggle up to her and tell her they love her, and my heart melts.  I am once again so, so thankful we are able to be here with her to take care of her.  She must feel so alone living in this messed up world this horrible disease has given her.

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