Well, the breakthrough we had and the good day is now over. Today we had a birthday party to attend at lunch time. So, we get up (late because the one year old had a bad night) and eat breakfast and hang out around the house. As soon as I start getting ready she asks, again, where we are going today and I remind her of the birthday party. This is something she is obviously not invited to as it was for my college friend's two year old. She gets mad that I am not inviting her, but I don't, and she starts ragging on the party about how the boys don't really want to go to that and we are all the time leaving the house and we never stay around to hang with her. This she says today after I have been at home the last two days only leaving to pick my nephew up from school. I just blow off her fit and continue to get ready and leave the house anyway, not inviting her to come.
We return to the house a few hours later, hang out, get a snack and then we are off to the library. About an hour later we are back at the house and I begin cooking dinner. We have a nice dinner and go on the patio to eat when all of a sudden both boys decide they do not want to eat anything! I try my best to get them both to eat and make no progress, so grandma steps in...
First of all, you should know that I give my children drinks. That's right...milk is consumed with every meal and juice or water at snack times. And, brace yourself for this, if they get thirsty during the day...I give them something to drink then too. This is all VERY outrageous to my grandmother. She HATES that the boys drink so much. She reminds me of the days she worked in the field all day and only got one drink of water when she would return to the house for dinner. Now, sometimes her and her sister would sneek off to the creek to get a drink, but that was just what they would tell their father so he would give them a break and they would go splash around a cool off in the water. She tells me repeatedly that she has NEVER felt thirsty in her life. She gets visibly upset that I give my children drinks all day long. I have even caught her taking my son's cup out of his mouth mid-drink. Every time she says this I just say that our bodies are made up mostly of water and it is very important not to get dehydrated. She counters with she has raised four kids herself and they all turned out fine. My next line is, "well, this is the way I do it..."
So tonight my parenting skills, and patience, were once again tested when my boys refused their dinner. If it would have been chicken nuggets and french fries they would have been all over it, but instead they got broccoli and squash. Vegetables, OH NO!!! So I gave them the ultimatedum...eat dinner or bath and bed. They chose bath and bed. There were some cries, moans and some foot stomping, but in the end they were both bathed and placed in their beds. Now, I almost forgot...on our way from the bathroom to the bedroom she is waiting for me, with her hands behind her back and her most solemn face, and says she needs to talk to me as soon as I can. So I get the boys put in their beds and explain, once more why they are there, and go to find her in the kitchen. Where she starts in that this whole incident was partly, if not entirely, my fault.
This is awesome! I would recommend to anyone reading this, that if you know anyone who is a newly single parent of two small children, please find them in their most vulnerable state and tell them what a horrible parent they are...really boosts their self esteem.
You see, it was all my fault because I got them out of the house early and kept them out all day eating whatever we could find and drinking ALL day, whatever they wanted. No, we went out for lunch and ate pizza at lunch time and drank water. Then, we returned home for a snack, made a quick library/farmer's market run and were back home again for dinner. No, no, no she was all wrong. It all boils down to the fact that she was mad that we left her this morning and didn't invite her to join us for the two year old's party. She continues that what I really need to do is take away the drinks, then they would get hungry. She would like it if we didn't drink anything AT ALL. I don't understand this, but it has been a fight from the first day we moved in five months ago. She continues further by informing me I am guiding my children down a hard road...by giving them drinks and taking them to town...and the end result will be all my fault. Way to kick me when I'm down.
I should mention that I do NOT enjoy putting my kids to bed early. It is not like I just woke up one day and decided I was tired of kicking my dog and decided to have a child, much less two, that I could sit back and think of ways to torture them...put them to bed early and take away their priviledges of staying up to watch the Thomas the train movie we checked out from the library. But sometimes I think this is exactly what grandma thinks of me.
After she drops the bomb of what a lowsy mother I am, I decide to go water the garden. Both boys are hanging out quietly in their beds, so I excuse myself and go outside. I get about half way done watering the garden when my three year old knocks on the patio door and waves very happily at me. I finish up the watering and come back in the house to find the three year old up with a juice box and the one year old playing hide and seek with grandma and the curtain on the patio door. I tell my oldest to go get in bed and then turn to my very satisfied grandmother. I ask her how the one year old got out of his crib and she laughs and says, " he may have had a little help. Besides they are boys and they need some time to play after I had them in town all day." My blood pressure starts to rise. I ask her why she got them up and she tells me it was too early to put them down...IT WAS 8 O'CLOCK!!! By the way she was carrying on, you would have thought it was like four in the afternoon! Not to mention the birthday party was at Chuck E Cheese's...where a kid can a kid!!!
I decided it was time to take her to the mat. I tried my best to explain to her that just because she didn't agree with me she did not have the right to wait until my back was turned and go get the boys out of their beds. And yes, I checked with my three year old who totally ratted her out. I have to admit, my blood pressure was not the only thing on the rise. I know you are to respect your elders and I have never, to this day, yelled at my grandmother, but today I did raise my voice just a little. I HAD to let her know I was serious. She just said OK and stared out the patio door.
A few minutes later she joined me in the living room, where I was rocking my one year old to sleep and reading a book. She interrupts my reading to tell me how her children never even cried. My little one was whimpering and whining just on the verge of sleep and not wanting to give in...her's never did anything like that. They were all four very quiet and never cried and never got in trouble. She is just not sure what I am doing to make mine turn out this way.
Then she picks up her Bible and begins to read. I just nod and agree. My same old routine when she is in one of her moods...agree with everything. Well, maybe tomorrow will be better...
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